Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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