ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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