Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
