i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
