is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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