i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
