I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i barfeds in our rink
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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