Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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