the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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