If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
