My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
