Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
