just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i think my cat just said my name.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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