I wanna bring you to show and tell
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
