I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
