dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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