he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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