if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
