If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
did i walk over a car last night?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I think my moral compass just broke
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