You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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