Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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