Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i think i have two assholes
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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