You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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