how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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