last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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