If i come over, it means nothing
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Randomize
