Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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