My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
