My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
