Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
