Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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