is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
COCAINE IS GR8
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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