now i know why i became what i already was.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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