I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
