I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
sex in a hospital.. check
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
