Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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