your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
