I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My vagina just clenched in fear
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
