You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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