I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
