I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
