how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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