That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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