Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
