the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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