She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
