Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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