Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
