Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
