she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
