if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
