She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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