If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
