im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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