Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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