Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
