Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
