It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
